The Truth....

Anyone who has known me for more than 5 minutes knows how much I love music and lyrics.  I love nothing better than a good song that makes me feel something.  Here's my current favorite.....

The Truth
Kris Allen

Lyin' next to you
Wishing I could disappear, hey
Let you fall asleep
And vanish out into thin air, hey

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it
It's the avalanche that looms
Above our heads, but we don't believe it

Tryin' to be perfect
Tryin' not to let you down, yeah
Honesty is honestly
The hardest thing for me right now, yeah

While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
'Cause it's easier than telling the truth

I still keep your photographs
I remember how we used to laugh
I can keep on losin' sleep
If you're okay with being torn in half

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it
It's an avalanche that looms
Above our heads but we don't believe it

Tryin' to be perfect
Tryin' not to let you down, yeah
Honesty is honestly
The hardest thing for me right now, yeah

While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
'Cause it's easier than telling the truth

Stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning
And let the rain come in
Stop pretending that it's not ending
And let the end begin, oh yeah

Tryin' to be perfect,
Tryin' not to let you down, yeah
Honesty is honestly
The hardest thing for me right now, yeah

While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
'Cause it's easier than telling the truth

It's easier than telling the truth

Never Knew I Didn't Want To Be Middle Class

You know what makes me mad, what makes me so mad I could scream?  The DHS service!  Never, not once, have I EVER called those people and had a pleasant experience.  Let me paint a little picture for you...

Lexi's birthday is August 22nd.  The cut off for kindergarten in the state of Arkansas now is August 15th...UNLESS they are enrolled in a state approved pre-k program and then the deadline is September 15th.  The daycare they are currently enrolled in does not currently meet this requirement.  I was under the impression they were working on that but after speaking to a few people, I am not convinced this will happen in time for it to save Lexi from staying back a year in Kindergarten.  So the search begins.  I being the logical person that I am started with the greatest invention ever....GOOGLE :)  Which then led me to the DHS website.  This is where my frustration begins.  The website is so grey it's not even funny!  By grey I mean....NOT black and white....it's about as clear as 3 day old mud.  Not only is it ,um, opaque but it's sticky and it leaves you feeling like you need a shower STAT!  So I finally decide to locate a phone number and just call them.....BAD IDEA!  The lovely lady (I use that term VERY loosely) that I spoke with treated me like I had interrupted her morning nap and like I was the biggest idiot on the face of the flippin planet!  I finally got a phone number for my local "rep" who I then called just to find out she was going to out of the office until Monday, December 6th.  Really people?!?!  So I went back to my ever loyal and trusty friend....Google :)

Eventually I located on their website the section talking about the state's Better Beginnings program.  Apparently this is the elusive "state approval" program I needed.  Looking through the list of programs in the Rogers area, I began to see a disturbing trend.  Of the 18 programs listed, 13 were through the Rogers Public Schools program which I already knew were income based and we apparently make too much.  One of them was the Benton County Sunshine School which I knew to be for special needs children.  That left me with FOUR!  What a selection!!  NOT!  So after calling Hallie Martin Headstart, which I feel like I need to mention the director was VERY nice, really truly, very professional and as helpful as she could be given the situation.  So after calling them I could mark them and Rogers Head Start off the list because they are also income based and we were even farther out of their target income range.  So now this leaves me two, First Friends and Peace Kids.  So I started with First Friends and marked them off pretty quickly.  Their hours are Monday-Thursday 8am to 2pm.  Which probably works for those wives of the doctors and lawyers of NWA that don’t have to work, but not for me L  So that leaves me with ONE, ONE single choice.  So I call Peace Kids and they are very nice.  I spoke to a few of the Firemen that take their kids there and hear great things about it.  Looking at the website, I realize that this place might even be better then what we currently have.  They are less expensive, better hours, better child to teacher ratios and they are state approved.  It’s a Christian based program so they could even be in a more positive environment.  Two negatives so far…..it’s been three days and the director STILL hasn’t called me back.  Second, I was told that there may be a separate charge for them to attend the pre-k program three days a week.  That part is super confusing and I could clear that up if…..THE DIRECTOR WOULD CALL ME BACK!!  So Peace Kids is looking like the most promising location but the jury is still out.

So this brings me to my point….

Why does our society only cater to low income families and children?  My husband and I both get up every morning and go to work.  I put myself through college to get a degree (that I can’t really use) just so I could get a decent paying job.  My husband worked his butt off to get through the Police Academy so he could follow his dreams of becoming a cop.  We work, we have a family, it’s what we do.  We put food on the table, gas in the car, clothes on our backs and a roof over our head.  We don’t have money left over for much else but we get by and we are happy.  We are not considered low income by state standards; we are considered middle class, which is ok in most cases.  I am treated like crap when I contact our state DHS office, I don’t have enough money to pay for the kids to go to private school where it wouldn’t be an issue and I don’t meet income requires to send them to a 3 Star State Approved Pre-K program.  REALLY?!?!  Is this what our society has come to?!?!  A society where normal everyday people can’t get what they need for their children?  Not to knock low income families but there are A LOT of programs for those families and not to knock rich people but they have the money to make things happen.  So what about us?  Normal everyday American Citizens that have worked HARD for what they have and will continue to work hard every day to maintain what they have.  I just think it’s a little messed up that those of us who have done the time and put forth the effort have the hardest time getting ahead.  So I guess I will sit here and ponder this for a while longer before I break out the bitchy voice to get something done….stay tuned J

Hello Hello Hello

At the  urging of several people, I have decided to return to my blogging days.  While James was deployed I turned to my blog to vent my frustrations of the day or week and it was so freeing.  It was truly a relief to have a place to say all of the things I probably shouldn't but I did anyway.  I am going to attempt to be consistent but I will have to get back into this slowly.  Happy Reading Everyone and I'll write you soon :)